Earlier in life, I learned that caring is an art and anybody can learn it. As Alice Miller quotes “Children who are respected learn respect. Children who are cared for learn to care for those weaker than themselves.” I believe these children also know when someone genuinely cares about them. And so should you. It’s unfortunate that these days someone will pretend to care about you for a short while until they get what they want from you. But you can avoid this if you know how to distinguish between someone who cares about you and someone who doesn’t.
If someone cares about you, they will be concerned about your well-being, your health, your happiness, and your growth. They will create time to attend to you, listen to you, they want to see you happy and will address you with respect. They will have a high opinion about you and not mistreat you. They will want to know about you, what makes you happy and what doesn’t.
A lot of relationships are hanging by the rope, they lack a genuine connection and it seems each hunger to make use of the other at the least expense possible. No wonder the most famous quote on love is “Love people, not things.”
Here are a few tips on how to know if someone cares about you.
5 Main Signs that Someone Cares About You
1. They are interested in knowing you
You will know someone is interested in you by how much they desire to know you. They want to know your colleagues, your friends, and your family. Simple details of your life such as your beliefs and values, your pastime activities, the places you like to go to, your goal in life, and favorite dishes become important to them.
Someone who cares about you is interested in your past; they want to know how you grew up and the important events of your life. They seem curious about how these past events have affected you and if there’s anything they can do to improve your bad experiences. They have a tendency of making multiple promises in a bid to impress you. For instance, you may find them promising to take you places you have been hoping to go to or helping you correct past mistakes.
Their curiosity may lead them to experiment with your reaction in different situations for example, they take you to an unfamiliar place, share extreme jokes, or play tricks on you.
2. They create time to attend to you
In the early stages of a relationship, care is usually expressed with simple acts. For instance, a courtesy call, being reminded to eat if you have busy schedules and you’re likely to forget. Constantly checking on you, greeting you in the morning, sending a good night wish, taking note of your special days and remembering the special people in your life are some of the ways of showing you concern.
As the relationship grows, their actions go beyond communication. You get help when need be. For example fixing a loose light bulb, picking up shopping, taking the car for service, moving houses, or keeping you company while you are unwell. If for instance, it’s cold, they want to make sure you are warm and comfortable. They may go out of their way to serve you meals in bed and they are available when you need them.
3. They listen
Have you ever opened up to a person, shared an issue that deeply concerns you and when you are still sharing, they interrupt with something totally unrelated? It’s hurting, isn’t it?
When a person genuinely cares about you, they pay attention to what you say. They halt other activities when you need to talk and create space just to listen. This is not passive listening where they just nod and mumble out ‘I hear you’ now and then. It is actively listening. They look at you, nod, ask questions and help you to unveil hidden thoughts.
If you spell out an opinion they don’t agree with, they find a way to express their disagreement without disrespecting you. If it’s not a face to face discussion, you will know by how the person responds to your emotions. There is a change of tone and consistency in responding. They make you feel at ease talking it all out, sharing your mind without editing your thoughts and without feeling like a bother.
Most times they share their feelings as well so that they encourage you to confide in them. Talking to them makes you feel good about yourself. They also give bits of advice in situations that you need their input or opinions.
4. They want to see you happy
When a person cares about you, they do anything within their power to protect your feelings. Unfortunately, this may include keeping secrets. They want to ensure they don’t hurt your feelings. They celebrate seeing your eyes light up and beam with happiness.
They are quick to apologize if anything they do pisses you off. Sometimes they apologize even when you are the one in the wrong. Anything that bothers you hurts them and they make it their duty to trend carefully so that you are not hurt.
Another way of knowing if someone cares about you is if they participate in your hobbies. Regardless of whether you share the hobbies or not, they will show a bit of interest just so you know they care. Simple acts like aligning their gym time with yours, taking you to your favorite movie even when they don’t like it, or helping you to cook.
5. They address you with respect
Perhaps someone claims to care about you but they are rude to you, would you still believe they genuinely care about you? I don’t believe so. Pure concern revolves around respect, respectful talk, responses, and actions.
Final note
I find it baffling that some people believe a person who cares about them can abuse them emotionally and even physically. That’s not genuine care. They are probably just taking advantage of you and compensating with other things such as gifts and money. Genuine care makes you feel secure, appreciated, and worthwhile. If you are still fighting to be noticed, you are not listened to or attended to while in need, you have enough proof that they don’t care. A person who cares about you applauds you when you practice self-love.
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